Back Talk: A Tale of Self Deprecation

So tonight I decided to reconnect with some old friends from the good old days at LPHS and seeing as I lack a set of wheels, I made my way to their houses on my one and only bad ass bicycle from the old Tulios Big Dog Cyclerey. First house I went to was my good friend Steph. I propped my bike against her house (since $300 seems to not include a kickstand) and went up to her porch and rang her doorbell. No answer. Now this is not unusual. Many a times in high school I went to Steph's house and no one answered the door even though all the cars were in the driveway. So I rang again and again until finally her nephew answered the door and told me "stef's no home" so i thanked him and got back onto my bike and headed down Creve Coeur to see my good friend Nikki. I got to Nikki's house and all of her dogs came running to the door when they saw me and her mom screamed at her sister to see who was there and she proceeded to tell me that Nikki had moved!! to Ottawa!!! This came as a huge disappointment. Nikki Wessman was always supposed to live in that small house on that brick road, and I was always supposed to come visit her on my bike when I was bored. (sadface) After that, I was too bummed out to see if anyone else was home so I rode my bike home and played some Rock Band with my brother.

Also, someone invited me to a facebook (why do I facebook still?) group remembering this kid from high school who died suddenly from meningitis. Everyone joins this group and writes their memories of this person and I had my own from when we went to junior high together. During lunch, we would always have to sit alphabetical on a long table with those colored benches that were prominent in every junior high cafeteria in 1999. This was intimidating to me because I was surrounded by boys on ALL sides and they would always gang up and tease me simply because I was the only girl in the line of fire. Anyway, the seventh graders and eighth graders ate lunch at separate times, but the 8th grade BAND kids would eat lunch with us and the three kids that were in band were all boys and they all sat across from me at my table. Now, some would think this would be disheartening for a girl who was already surrounded by boys, but this kid always made me laugh. The other boys teased me as a group activity, but this boy teased me as a friend to make me laugh. I'll always remember that. <3 He was a really good person and the world is a worse place without him. If there is a heaven, I'm sure he's there.
There was a link to follow to read some of his writing (and he was a Communications major like me) so I decided to check it out and found something interesting:

ok, so heres the deal, i've been drinkin tonite, and i've also been thinkin. i usually don't get all deep thinkin and sentimental in my life, but this is one night where i will.

so after i got off of work i went to my pal bens'. and we started talkin. and i want to address something that not a single person on this earth can grasp. it has to do with both space and death.

concerning both of this, we as a human race cannot grasp the fact that something is forever and its kind of nuts. think about it, experts say that space goes on forever. can you really think about the fact that something doesn't end. you could just keep on moving in a straight line forever, and what will you find, much more. since we've been born, we've been told that everything ends, but space doesn't, and neither does death, and it literally just boggles the mind to think about it. this is probably the time where i start talking circles, but what the hell happens after death. i've known many people who have died, some very close, and although it sucks that they died, i'm envious because they know the answer to the ultimate riddle of what happens after death.

so, as you sleep tonite, lay in bed and maybe just think about the notion of infinity and how incredible it is, maybe it'll do somethin for ya, maybe you'll think im a dueschbag, whatever suits ya.

it really sux, cuz im so drunk that i can't really put into words exactly what im trying to convey right now. but in the imortal words of bruce weber "who cares."

oh yea, i got this christmas card from some family that i kno. their is a kid on it, and his face really sux...boo him.

drew

Often, I find myself missing the people I've lost touch with. One thing's for sure, I have a wicked memory for remembering old friends.