Back Talk: A Tale of Self Deprecation

Sometimes, life is so unbelievably beautiful. It probably always is, but we rarely ever recognize it because we're so wrapped up in ourselves and our "problems" and our emotions. I have discovered that most the time, we go through life and things are just mediocre. Sometimes we can fix that and sometimes we can't. It's those rare moments we live for. Those moments that fill us up and make us feel like we can't take it anymore because nothing has ever felt so good. I don't know a single person who feels that way all the time because if we all felt that way all the time, how would we ever be able to grow and to learn. When things always go right for you, you're never knocked down a few pegs. You never realize there is something in the dark that you might be missing that can make the light so much more than you can imagine having never been there.

I've learned more in this past year than I have ever learned in my whole life. I pushed myself to live far from home not knowing a soul and experienced some amazing things that no one will ever know about. I think going off on your own for awhile is one of the best things a person could ever do. Learning to rely only on yourself is the fastest way to see who you really are. There are things I did in Boston and places I went all on my own that no one will ever know about. They are things that only I can hold onto; experiences only I will ever feel, and there is something comforting about that. It's like a little bit of the world I can hold onto that I don't have to share with everyone else.

I'm quite the sentimentalist trying to disguise myself as a cynic but failing miserably. I just can't do it. It's not me.