"It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things
about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year
or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are
now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those
friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the
greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost
touch with are some of the most important ones.What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as
confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you
thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and
realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and
that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger.
You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than
usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries
in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further
and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot
figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't
a bad person. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and
talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot
seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now
you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as
hard as we can to figure this whole thing out."
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